Flatmate Wanted
by HuesoftheMorning
Summary: Umi and Nico are behind on rent, so Nico comes up with an... interesting solution to the problem. UmiNico / HonoUmiNico


"You know, if you didn't spend so much money on random idol merchandise, this wouldn't be a problem."

Nico scowled at Umi, clutching her latest figurine to her chest. "These are very important, okay! I need them for… for reference."

"You need to start referencing your budget instead." Umi waved the bill in front of Nico's face. Nico cringed away from it, as if it would bite her. Or perhaps Umi was the one she should be cowering from. Probably both.

"Alright, alright. I'll figure something out, okay?"

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Good." Umi collapsed onto the couch, leaning against Nico's shoulder. "Just don't do something dumb. I know how you think."

"Don't worry, don't worry. I have the perfect idea."

Somehow Umi didn't believe that.

The first sign of trouble showed up two days later, decked entirely in rainbows from her knee high socks to the two scrunchies holding back her hair. Umi stared at her, blinking rapidly to overcome her shock.

"…Can I help you?"

"My name's Tojo Nozomi! I'm here for the roommate ad."

"Sorry, I think you have the wrong house. We didn't put out an ad."

Nozomi pouted, somehow making the simple act seem suggestive. "Ahhh, how unfortunate. It really seemed like a great opportunity."

The next day brought another girl. This one was shorter, with bright orange hair and a dirty bag thrown over her shoulder.

"Hiya! The name's Rin, nya!"

"Hello… Rinnya?"

Rinnya beamed, bouncing up and down on her toes. She didn't say anything, and Umi frowned as the silence stretched between them.

"…Did you need something?"

"Yeah! I wanted to move in with you!"

Umi shut the door.

The third ring of the doorbell brought a girl with a sweet smile and a ridiculous hair style. Umi narrowed her eyes at it, worried it would jump up and attack her.

"Uh, no, sorry," she finally said when the girl's words processed. "Wrong house."

"Someone really needs to proofread their advertisements," Umi said several days later.

Nico didn't look up, too busy tapping her phone to the tune of some song. "Yeah? What happened?"

"Every day this week some random girl has shown up at our door, asking about some roommate advertisement. It's becoming a serious problem. I might call the newspaper tomorrow."

"What? Wait, people have been showing up here?" Nico finally looked away from her game, concern written all over her face.

"Yes, they have. But don't worry, I've turned them all away."

"That's the exact opposite of what you're supposed to do!" Nico threw her hands in the air, falling backwards onto Umi's lap. "We need those girls! Or one of them, at least."

Understanding was beginning to dawn on Umi, along with a sense of dread creeping up her spine. "Nico, were you the one who put up that roommate ad?"

"Duh! If we have a roommate then we don't have to pay as much for rent and I can keep buying all the idol stuff I want."

"That's not a solution!"

"It totally is! Come on, what's wrong with it?"

"The fact that I'd like to know if we were getting a stranger to live with us, for one. But your ad has only brought in weird girls. What did you even write?"

"Not much. 'Flatmate wanted: No heterosexuals'. Perfect, I know, no need to thank me."

Umi groaned.

When the doorbell rang the next day, Umi dragged her feet down the hallway. Who was it going to be this time? Would they be like the girl carrying seven bowls of rice? Or perhaps the one with the strongest Russian accent Umi had ever heard. Maybe it would even be another girl that sounded like she had never grown out of the teenage rebellion stage.

It was none of those. The girl appeared perfectly normal, standing there with a smile on her face and a dress patterned with different types of bread. Umi immediately felt a sense of distrust.

"You're here for the roommate ad, I suppose?"

"Yep! My name's Kousaka Honoka! I'm 22 years old, a late sleeper, a messy eater, and a lover of pranks of all kinds!"

Umi looked at her for a moment, contemplating all the numerous ways this arrangement would go wrong. Then she shrugged, stepping back to let Honoka into the house.

"Good enough. You're hired."

A year later, eating a warm loaf of freshly baked bread and watching Honoka and Nico dejectedly paint over their 17th attempt at making a splatter paint wall mural, Umi decided that life could definitely be worse.


End file.
